Election Day Voting Guide

[Apoptosis]

This is great! I love The Onion!

What To Bring
Remember to bring proper identification to the polls.
This can be:


Driver's license or your chauffeur
Passport and photos of your boyfriend in Paris
SuperVoter discount card
Note from president
Proof that your grandfather voted
Retinal scan or your alderman's retinas
Two Iraqi scalps
Receipt for your shoes
Videotape of your first steps
Halliburton employee ID
Birthday card from grandmother
Pint of sperm for DNA-identification purposes
Casserole dish to pass
A good friend who can totally vouch for you
Signed $20 bill
Autographed celebrity photo inscribed with your name

I don't know about you guys, but I got my Halliburton employee ID card and my sperm print ready to go!

[Amy]

that was "pint" of sperm...

I'm going to find a chauffeur to bring.

[T-Shirt]

that was "pint" of sperm...

.

Apperently you haven't seen his undies, he's got a "print" (aka stain) *-Information gathered from internet (weird guy with webcams everywhere, not from personal experience.

[infinitevalence]

i swear to god i dont know you people.

[Apoptosis]

[T-Shirt]

sometimes, I wish I didn't know me either,

BTW the post above was made by my evil twin Bra-N-Panties