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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 6:14 am
by kappage
1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.


A laugh for the day,

***Note***
I would not actually recommend doing any of these things

Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 10:14 am
by bmaverick
"... 6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH. "

haha

Same holds true feeding a dog dark milk chocolate bars.

Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 2:31 pm
by DMB2000uk
I saw this thread title and though that it was spam and I was going to be able to ban/delete it :P

I think number 5 is a great idea.

Dan

Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 3:01 pm
by ibleet
Hilarious! Haha I use WD-40, duct tape and a hammer all the time! :lol:

Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 3:33 pm
by martini161
#6 is good, my son found out the hard way that suger free gummy worms are excelent laxitives! :finga:

Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 1:30 pm
by unfaithfulsfan
martini161 wrote:#6 is good, my son found out the hard way that suger free gummy worms are excelent laxitives! :finga:
Being an insulin-dependent diabetic, I learned that one the hard way too! :oops: "can the human body do that?!?"

My wife is really into home remedies so she should get a charge out of these!

Really funny :mrgreen: