How to keep a healthy level of insanity

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FZ1
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How to keep a healthy level of insanity

Post by FZ1 » Fri Feb 12, 2010 12:23 pm

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors"

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won! 3rd time this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner- "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
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slugbug
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Re: How to keep a healthy level of insanity

Post by slugbug » Fri Feb 12, 2010 1:58 pm

Those are great :) I especially like #6 :lol:

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Re: How to keep a healthy level of insanity

Post by bubba » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:08 pm

FZ1 wrote:19. Tell your children over dinner- "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
I'm doing that tonight after dinner :lol: I can see what their faces will look like already.
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Re: How to keep a healthy level of insanity

Post by vbironchef » Fri Feb 12, 2010 4:11 pm

espresso has less caffeine than coffee. The espresso spends less time in the coffee making it have less caffenine. That list should be on the top ten things on how to get fired or how to spend you life alone. I think you are getting cabin fever with all that snow. :lol:

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Re: How to keep a healthy level of insanity

Post by Wifuzzy » Sat Feb 13, 2010 11:16 am

Got bored one day....I live in Canada and we $1.00 coins. When they first came out we crazy glued 8 of them down to the steps outside our apartment. We sat on the balcony with a case of beer and watched people try to pick them up. We had a hoot watching them kick at them. A while later this old guy walks up and tries to get them loose with his cane...we were killing ourselves laughing. He heard us...looked at us muttered under his breathe...we laughed even harder. About 2 minutes later, he walks out with a hammer and chisel....hack off the coins, put them in his pocket, looked up at us and flipped us the bird. My friend almost fell of the balcony laughing. Best 8 bucks I ever spent.

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Re: How to keep a healthy level of insanity

Post by bigblockmatt » Sun Feb 14, 2010 5:34 pm

FZ1 wrote: 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors"
My buddy/roommate at the time did that when he paid me his portion of the rent. I would get some laughs sometimes when i would go to the younger tellers at the bank. you just have to make sure you dont fill anything out before you get to the teller window so they have to time to actually read it.
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