the worst lunch hour
Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 2:39 pm
I just got this e-mail from a friend and she swears that is is true...
I have to tell the story of the worst lunch I've ever experienced, it just happened this last hour. I went to tan, a normal ritual I practice about 2 times a week........ I'm beginning to put my lotion on and there's something under my foot - oh no worries, I was just standing on a freaking SPIDER!!!!!! An aracnophobic, naked girl is not a good thing to have standing on near a spider.....so I let out a bit of a scream....and begin sweating b/c I have to smash this thing with nothing to pick it up with after I kill the damn thing! Not to mention it's in the most strategically placed spot for when I try to hoist my short self into this tanning bed.......okay, so my 20 min nap is over, it's not great b/c I keep feeling like another spider is on me so once I doze off I wake up swatting at things that aren't there........very nice. So I get dressed and head to my car..........there is an injured pigeon by my car trying to take off and he's basically moving around in circles trying to take off. He's almost getting stuck under a car, so I go back inside to tell the girl behind the counter incase she can call animal rescue or something, b/c it's the saddest thing on the planet to see this little guy trying to take off.........and I refuse to run over a bird, that's just not right. So I'm late to get back to work anyway, I stand outside my car weighing my options thinking maybe I can pick him up and put him in a bush or something, while I'm directing cars around the little guy.........So then what happens, a dumbass little gym rat who's about 17 years old, he thinks I'm checkin' in him out while he chats on the phone, his window is down, so I think he can hear me, I'm trying to get him to NOT run over my little friend....and what's he do????????? Runs right over him, with his first set of tires, stops midway and says to me "Did I just run over something?"......No you dumbshit, I was just waving profusly at you so you could maybe hit some parked cars or something........So he drives forward and continues to roll over the poor guy again! So my effort to save Pete the Pidgeon is in vain......... I hurry to Taco Bell to get a quick Chicken burrito so I can eat at my desk.......the lines huge, I'm running late, and I place my order - the girl gives me my total and says "Please make sure you have your money ready when you get to the window"......That's not a good thing to say to me at this point, b/c I'd been sitting in line for 10 mins, I'm late to get back to work and I just witnessed Pete my bird friend just die! So I get to the window, remaining calm, figuring if I bitch at them, they'll spit in my food or something! I leave and stick the straw in my nice large cold Diet Pepsi........and dumb **** 15 year old Taco Bell kid, doesn't put the lid on properly.........and I proceed to spill soda on myself while trying to speed back to work..............ARGHHHHH!!
