Top 10 predictions for Nvidiot in 2010
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 11:05 am
David Makin is at it again on Facebook and I thought this would go over well here -
10. Enough new model numbers will be introduced so that a second computer will be required to figure out what you have.
9. DX11 will be postponed and Microsoft will swear it has nothing to do with a video card company.
8. The list of people using CUDA will increase while the number of applications for people without a doctorate in math and programming will remain below 10.
7. They will figure out that a netbook with a larger than 10" screen is called a notebook.
6. ION will go away and be replaced by, ummm, nothing.
5. Internet TV will be no more popular than WebTV. Think along the lines of the Jitterbug.
4. Some asshole will compile a list of all the quotes Nvidiot has made about their amazing technological breakthroughs and when they predicted them to hit market. This will be funny because no one will have heard of many of them at all.
3. Santa Clara will suffer a record number suicides due to a lack of anti-depressants. Eli Lilly will be purchased outright and all Prozac manufacturing capabilities will be moved to 2701 San Tomas Expressway, Santa Clara, CA 95050 to service the green machine exclusively.
2. Rumors will abound about Intel's purchase of Nvidiot. The stock will rise, senior execs will retire, stocks will plummet and the FTC will finally allow the purchase for $47.22.
1. In an attempt to recoup some of their 98% yield losses, Nvidiot silicon will be marketed as stripper glitter. Interestingly enough you will now actually be able to swipe your credit card in her ass and check your email wirelessly at the same time.
