Okay everyone, I'm here to pitch a lucrative new timepiece to all of you. It will not measure the time of the day, week, month or year. Its sole purpose will be to inform it's wearer of their current state of mortality. I call it the Corpse-Watch. Are they alive, or dead? There will be a small sensor in the band that will detect a pulse, as long as a pulse is detected the watch will say something catchy like, "Hey moron, you're alive!" However, when the watch no longer detects a pulse a skull-and-crossbones will appear on the face, indicating the wearer is now deceased. Think of how handy this will be to anyone who stumbles upon a prone body!
"Hmm, here's another vagrant, passed out on my front porch. I'll just roll him off into the bushes out of my wa.....wait a minute, he has a Corpse-Watch on. I'll see how he's doing. Huh, hes dead...Imagine that! Well, that could have been embarrassing! Hey sweetie! I almost rolled a corpse into our bushes! Haha!"
Obviously, this watch will be an item of extreme luxury. It's $1,000,000.00 price point is one that only the most exalted among us will be able to afford.
